What is a MeMailer? It is a nickname that I’ve used to describe some emailers. Basically, MeMail is all about the sender: their views, their photos, their needs, and their personality.
The term MeMail notes the narcissism inherent in our email activities. We are just thinking of “Me” and what we want to do or say at that moment in time.
Chronic MeMailers are honestly not aware of how their lack of knowledge can affect the other side. Or how their actions (or lack thereof) may cause a negative perception.
There is No Me in Email
Unfortunately, when faced with these facts, many a MeMailer I’ve run into have had a visceral response to having these issues pointed out to them: “Online is a free-for-all.” “It’s called free speech.” “It’s my email — I can do what I want.” The last response proves my point.
Many MeMailers simply do not care to alter what they want to do out of courtesy to the other side or to leave a positive impression. That is not a concern instead of getting their message across.
I don’t care what you think unless it is about me.
Kurt Cobain
Are you a MeMailer?
Off the top of my head, here are a few things that can identify a chronic “MeMailer”:
MeMailers include signature files with religious or political commentary without considering whether the recipient is of like mind. (In business email, this could be a deal-breaker).
MeMailers forward emails they think are funny or informative without comment, sometimes many in a row, as they get caught up on their email. Forward, forward, forward…
MeMailers embed graphics that are either too large, too controversial, or simply too personal.
MeMailers attach many large attachments without considering whether the recipient is interested in the attachments, if they have the software to view them, or the data allowance to cover those downloads.
MeMailers blurt out their demands or questions without first typing a courteous greeting. They also don’t think to add a “Thank You!” in their closing and follow up with you for a response if you don’t reply immediately. Nor do they send a quick thank you email when you respond to their terse request.
Spammers – large and small alike – are the biggest MeMailers of all. They cram their propaganda into your inbox or through your website form without consideration for your interest or resources. Many insult your intelligence with the chicanery of their offers. (Who wants to do business with those who send hoax emails you did not specifically ask for?)
It’s not all about you.
Here are some tips to help you ensure your emails are not all about you:
Focus on the recipient: Start your email by addressing the recipient’s needs or interests rather than your own. Use phrases like “I noticed…” or “You may be interested in…” to show that you’re considering their perspective.
Ask questions: Encourage dialogue by asking the recipient about their thoughts, opinions, or experiences related to the topic at hand. This shows that you’re interested in their input and not just focused on your own agenda.
Provide value: Offer something of value to the recipient, whether it’s relevant information, resources, or assistance. Tailor your email content to address their concerns or help them achieve their goals.
Use “you” more than “I”: Pay attention to the pronouns you use in your emails. Try to use “you” more often than “I” to shift the focus onto the recipient and their needs.
Be empathetic: Show empathy and understanding towards the recipient’s situation or challenges. Acknowledge their perspective and demonstrate that you’re supportive and considerate.
Keep it concise: Avoid lengthy discussions about yourself or your own accomplishments. Instead, keep your emails brief and to the point, focusing on what’s relevant and beneficial to the recipient.
End with a call to action: Encourage the recipient to take action or respond to your email by including a clear call to action. This could be a question, a request for feedback, or an invitation to discuss further.
By following these tips, you can ensure that your emails are more focused on the recipient and their needs rather than being all about you.
Courtesy Matters in Email Too
Life is short, but there is always time enough for courtesy.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Yes, of course, you can do whatever you want in your email. But if you do so without considering whether the other side will appreciate your style, you risk the perception that you are only capable of thinking of yourself.
There are many folks who refuse to realize the power of their written words, the corresponding punctuation and the ramifications of how they choose to use them. This certainly does not mean that the perceptions they are presenting, or the emotions they are insinuating are not there. They are!
Some trivialize email proper practices. “Email is informal (very),” “Email is just a tool,” “Why take email so darned seriously?” These are actual quotes from…
The topic of sending attachments by email is not one that is discussed as much as it probably should be. It is easy to attach a file to an email. Almost too easy!
No matter how nice, how kind, how thoughtful they may be in asking someone to stop forwarding these “forward to everyone you know” emails, the forwarder will either have hurt feelings or get downright belligerent in the belief that they can do what they want.
