Do you demand lightning-fast email replies?

One of the complaints I hear about here @ NetM@nners is response time. In this post, we’re explicitly talking about personal emails between family, friends, and wannabe friends.

Onliners constantly email me asking why their emails are not responded to. Or why don’t folks take the time to respond in a reasonable amount of time?

Many believe that email is instantaneous, so it should be the reply. Once sent, the other side has your email and should stop immediately and email you back. The reality is that’s not always possible.

“But they would receive a notice on their phone!” Well, believe it or not, not everyone has their email on their phone.

Many tend to take a lack of a fast response personally. When actually, it may have absolutely nothing to do with you. More to do with the other side’s schedule. The fact is we don’t know anyone else’s schedule or availability. Or if they can meet our expectations.

Put Your Expectations in Check

To expect an immediate response is probably unrealistic. Follow-up is typically not the best approach when a reply is not received lickity-split. To send a follow-up email (and in some cases another and another) within 30-60 minutes of the first can be perceived as demanding or pushy. Or worse, that you are digitally stalking the recipient.

Especially considering in many cases, these follow-ups tend to increase the tone level with the increased use of questions and exclamation marks. Everyone should do their best to respond to their emails as promptly as possible. However, the sender should also realize that the other side may be busy or occupied.

Sometimes folks have crazy schedules. They have other responsibilities and activities that require their full attention. They may be out of the office, on vacation — off-line, having a life.

Just Ask

One way to help get a response is to simply ask for one. Explain why you need to hear from them quickly or note the desired time frame. Most folks will do their best to accommodate your request.

The courteous approach is to give those you email time to respond. As a general rule of thumb, there is no need to send a follow-up before 24 hours from when you sent your first message. If you can’t wait 24 hours, email is most likely inappropriate for your request.

If a matter is that important or urgent, pick up the phone and give the other side a jingle.

The Downside

Two negatives could impact your getting the response you desire. Doing spammy things in your email could cause your emails to go to the trash folder or be rejected. If you aren’t being spammy, then we have to be honest about why we may not get a response.

Being realistic and understanding that, in some cases, folks don’t want to respond. For example, someone you have a sour relationship with. Or an individual you are trying to reach out to who is not interested in encouraging a relationship, whether virtual or in person.

Your gut knows if that is the case. In these situations, it’s best you back off and allow time to take its course between communications. If a response is meant to be, you’ll get one eventually. If not, take a hint and communicate with those open to your messages.